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My story

Hello, my sweet friend. I’m Miriam, a clinical psychologist and integrative therapist who has experienced complex trauma, vulvodynia (a type of chronic pain), and other health challenges in the past. Today, I find immense satisfaction in helping other humans work through their trauma, enhance their emotional well-being, and improve their health.

I’ll spare you many details of my childhood and the events that took place, but I will say that since day one, I was not born under the most favorable conditions for a kid. The first few years of my life were spent at my grandparents’ home with my mom, grandparents, great-grandparents, uncles… However, due to work and illness of the adults, nobody had much capacity for me, so I was figuring things out on my own. It was an erratic home, to say the least, imagine the mad-hatter’s tea party in Alice in Wonderland – lots of people, a very confusing scenario – and I was Alice. Looking back, this helped me develop many traits that today I cherish. I rarely get scared venturing into the world by myself, as I learned to be by myself in chaotic environments since I was a child. It also made me an avid reader, as soon books became my best friends. On the flip side, there were many emotional needs that weren’t met, which would also impact my life.

Eventually, my family and living situation shifted, and went from “figuring things out” to living in a constant state of fear. Every day was spent with crippling anxiety, and eventually, seeing that I could neither “fight nor flee,” I entered a constant state of functional freeze. It is no wonder why over the years my body started developing some of the most “seemingly-random” symptoms, from cutaneous allergies to joint pains to digestive problems. I saw countless specialists, but nobody could determine what was happening to me. My antibodies were testing positive, but I didn’t have a congruent clinical picture.

Fast forward to my early 20’s, I had been living in a state of dissociation, but after experiencing sexual assault, things only got worse, and I started experiencing a lot of shame and self-hatred. This experience in itself would have a ripple effect in my life, but things got worse before they got better.

I started my studies in psychology in the US, but I didn’t know yet to what extent psychology would play a role in my own life. Originally, I went into the studies to support others in their emotional well-being. I seemed to have a natural inclination towards listening to friends, and often people would confide in me, but my journey shaped the direction to which I was headed.

In my first year of college, my health deteriorated even more, including developing a hypo-active thyroid AND the condition that would change the course of my life: vulvodynia. You may have never heard this word; I only heard it for the first time when I was diagnosed, but it is basically an excruciating chronic pain in the vulva. I reached the point where the pain was so intense that I could not walk, think, or do anything that didn’t relate to the pain. I had to pause my studies, go back to Spain (where I would eventually transfer to finish my studies), and dedicate my whole life to try to seek answers – I know things are not looking good at this point, but it was a blessing in disguise.

I started with Western medicine—as most people would do when there is a medical ailment—but to my dismay, they said the condition was “incurable” and I should just focus on managing it. Nobody in their early 20s wants to receive a diagnosis like this, but there I was, confused, lonely, and depressed, thinking that was the end of my life.

I tried every conventional and alternative treatment, but nothing seemed to work. But, due to my story and having undergone different types of abuse, it seemed pretty clear there could be an emotional component to it – even some of the medical Doctors that knew about my private life suggested that it could be a result of PTSD. So I tried therapy, and it didn’t seem I was making much progress; I tried 3 different therapists until I found one that changed the whole game for me. Why? Because she didn’t look at symptoms or labels, but at the underlying trauma. She understood that the body keeps the score, and she knew we had to bring this into the equation for my healing. I feel extremely grateful that I found her as when I started healing all the layers of trauma, all of me started to flourish. It was as if all the darkness I had been living in started melting, and along with it, my vulvodynia, thyroid, and other “mystery ailments” started to heal. I was very fortunate that as a psychology student, a few years later I would be able to do my internship with her (and the whole team of the center), and learn directly the method, principles, and techniques that helped in my own healing.

Through my thesis I dove deeper into the effects of trauma on our neuroendocrinology and chronic pain, but what I came to understand is that very often trauma is at the root of many “disorders.” This is not to say it’s the only thing, but certainly an important one to address. I know nothing in the body happens in isolation, and for this reason I trained in other modalities such as women’s health and sexuality to understand at a deeper level what happens hormonally in our bodies that can impact our well-being.

I work holistically in my practice with a great focus on somatics, and through this approach I’ve witnessed remarkable transformations: individuals overcoming chronic pain and psychosomatic symptoms, reducing anxiety levels, emerging from deep depressions, and embracing an overall improved life. While there are no instant miracles, we attentively listen to the cues of your body, allowing it to guide us on the path to wellness.

I hope this brief summary about me can help you understand why I am so passionate about this work. My own experience has been a strong motivator for my academic and clinical performance. While it wasn’t an easy journey, it brought on many learnings, and today I take immense pride in being able to guide others through the process of healing their pain, both physical and emotional, and living their lives with vitality, joy, and confidence.

 

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